Monthly Archive for April, 2006

Underwhelmed (live)-Sloan

So several things about this Canadian geek rock ANTHEM. 1) Uncanny got a sunburn on the right side of his face from the massive hotness of the young woman adjacent to his person. She practically molested him with her heaving, perfect, geek-rock adoring bosom. No seriously. Her complete and perfect aesthetics made you feel like you were on television. She didn’t look real. 2) Thundercats boy in the crowd gets to play on the track, but cooly acts “like he’s been there before”. Thundercats dude, this is downstairs at the Middle East, you can cheeze-dog it up! Come on!! Do you know who is watching???? Also, the woman oppressing Uncanny with her totally awesome Britrocking bod at the Doves/Elbow show we went to one time may have been even more amazing, save for the cloud of cobag emanting from her smokery. I don’t know how the Uncanny One does it.

About the song, you should really listen to the words. The tears of 1200 Sadly,No! snarky boys went into this tune (lyrics reproduced below).

It’s just so g*ddamn*d true. Sigh. Geek boy am I.


She was underwhelmed, if that’s a word
I know it’s not, ’cause I looked it up
That’s one of those skills that I learned in my school

I was overwhelmed, and I’m sure of that one
’cause I learned it back in grade school
When I was young

She said, “You is funny”
I said, “You are funny”
She said, “Thank you”
and I said, “Nevermind”
She rolled her eyes
Her beautiful eyes

The point is not the grammar
It’s the feeling
That is certainly in my heart
But not in hers

But not in hers
But not in hers
But not in hers
But not in hers

We were talkin’ about people that eat meat
I felt like an ass ’cause I was one
She said, “It’s okay,” but I felt like
I just ate my young

She is obviously a person with a cause
I told her that I don’t smoke or drink
She told me to loosen up on her way to the L.C.

She skips her classes and gets good grades
I go to my courses rain or shine
She’s passin’ her classes while I attend mine

While I attend mine
While I attend mine
While I attend mine
While I attend

She wrote out a story about her life
I think it included something about me
I’m not sure of that but I’m sure of one thing
Her spelling’s atrocious

She told me to read between the lines
And tell her exactly what I got out of it
I told her affection had two F’s
Especially when you’re dealing with me

I usually notice all the little things
One time I was proud of it, she says it’s annoying
She cursed me up and down and rolled her R’s, her beautiful R’s

She says I’m caught up in triviality
All I really wanna know is what she thinks of me
I think my love for her makes me miss the point

I miss the point, I miss the point
I miss the point, I miss the point
I miss the point, I miss the point
I miss the point, Hey mister

I Found the F-Broadcast

I can almost guarantee many people that may or may not be reading this page will love this song. Reminds of older Stereolab, but decidedly English in feeling, a retro aesthetic but leaving the bachelor pad for the undefined spaces usually inhabited by the Clientele (on this song), without the drenched reverb, instead a fuzzy warm electronic hardness mixed with the 60s chic. Go buy it from iTunes or somehwere for 99 cents. From Tender Buttons. A hypnotic intro slowing cascading down like some traditional 60s music from one of those mirror universes. First heard this at Last-FM. Their previous album is different but quite good as this new one. Their sound is sophisticated and on the new album, the older complexity is replaced by retromodern cold electroheated fuzzy touches that strip down the sound.

Bitch-Rolling Stones

Let us consider the sleaz-o factor once again of the 100% pure greasy sleaze that the Stones have perfected. Let us consider the use of horns on this track. Said horns are completely employed for sleaze. They exist as the finishing leer, the underlining of the obscene gesture, the come on, the successful come on, eventually. Let us compare these horns to the use of brass say on The Beatles “Martha My Dear”- they are merely an accoutrement, a little twist, a fill. Innocent. Even on “Got To Get You Into My Life”, they give some oomph, but it just seems so tame, so frankly Paul (not a bad thing). On the Stones song they are nothing more that the swinging of Mick’s dick. Not even “Puppetry of the Penis” but a May Day parade full of missile launchers covered in pork fat and dirt. The brass are the glue that keep the entire band on a monomaniacal course here, a course destined for we all know where. Mick’s pants.

Jed’s other poem (beautiful ground)-Grandaddy

So i am sitting here eating my burnt popcorn as usual thinking to myself, ” hmmm.. i need a great comeback song for these snobs”, and honestly, I think I have one. I know for a fact it is one of Pinko Punko’s faves, and mine as well. So as the site tells you (and i tried looking on youtube for it–but it was not to be found–just click on the link you lazy bastards) Jed is a robot made out of spare parts. And really any song themed around robots is already better than most, but one about an alcoholic robot that writes poetry is just genius (try if you want, I will not be dissauded from the point genius). It is actually a quite beautiful song, especially the part after Jed writes “I try to sing it funny like Beck, but it’s bringing me down.. lower than ground.. beautiful ground…”. This song is just an example of Grandaddy’s wonderful creativity.. they make music fun again!, well they did.. until they broke up.

Only Shallow-My Bloody Valentine

From an album I love (Loveless)yet still think is namechecked by people just for the hell of it, not really knowing or appreciating it, “Only Shallow” is a gigantic swath of make what you will of it. It’s aggressive, opaque (can you understanf more than four or five words?) and dreamy. This makes it especially effective for dork boy dorm angst. Whilst others (I’m looking at you A.) were content to blast “Unforgiven” by Metallica, or Rush (!), there were the alternadorks (moi) that spread the gospel of lying on the dorm room floor, depressed, in the dark, listening to this. LOUDLY. Chumpwagons. I will definitely unforgive you for the number of times I had to hear the Black album, or the frat dork upstairs blasting Nirvana oooh, about 6 months after I had snobbily already heard it. Chunky farts.

This song is awesome. I almost think I can get Uncanny to like it, but he’s not really all that angsty.


Only Shallow-My Bloody Valentine

I Walk the Earth-King Biscuit Time/Kwangchow-King Biscuit Time

KBT is the side- now main-project of Beta Band frontman Stephen Mason. The difference between the two entities is minimal in sound, except that KBT can indulge in a less layered sometimes less organic or full sound as The Beta Band. The Betas were known as sampling sound collagists, kind of a Scottish Beach Boys hip hop psych pop collective. If you only know Beta Band from their randomly selected singles, you might want to dig deeper. I have found that some of their released singles are the most skippable tracks. What we have here is the King Biscuit Time “I Walk the Earth” from one of their two singles collected on an EP. It reflects their eclectic nature.

I Walk the Earth-King Biscuit Time

Stephen Mason has recorded an album as King Biscuit Time and the new single is below. Somewhat less lush that a Beta Band offering, but still very much of their ouevre. I love them and miss them. They just got tired of the slog. I don’t blame them. For being as interesting as they were they got no support in America at all. Many may know them from the inclusion of “Dry the Rain”, their most well known song, in the film High Fidelity (orignally from The Three EPs)


Kwangchow-King Biscuit Time

Reap the Wild Wind-Ultravox

An eighties New Romantic/New Wave confection. There is something about this song that I still really like. This version is more metallic and less warm than the compilation version. Definitely more 1983, but also more structured and bloodless in its way. The last 10 seconds or so are really the prefect ending for such a song. When songs know how to end I really respect that. Apparently Ultravox went way back to the mid-70s in another lineup not featuring Romantic poster-boy Midge Ure as this song does. You might also remember there ultra-dramatic yet quite minimalist “Vienna”.

Reap the Wild Wind-Ultravox

Clampdown-Clash/ Clampdown-Strokes (cover)

This is my favorite Clash song. There are lots of great Clash songs, but I don’t know if I really feel any of them as much as this one. The disciplined, propulsive riff is what does it, it is the best way to pair the quoted hate speech of the lyrics. It gives it the stomping feel appropriate for the content. This live version is from that SNL knockoff “Fridays”- you might or might not remember that Michael Richards and Larry David were on it. Andy Kaufman hosted once and would not break character. I think there must have been a melee or something. This version is less loose and more robotic, more metallic, closer to the album version than other versions, but with some extra echo. This is how I like the song because it is essentially the band wearing a costume, and the part is better played with half-dead eyed sneering and stomping. Aif has some Clash at his place.

Clampdown-The Clash

Which leads us to our cover by The Strokes. I really don’t care what the haters say about the Strokes, and it is not necessarily relevant to their cover here. It is incredibly faithful, with an even greater sheen that the Clash’s costumed take. It is 25% closer to a Gary Numan dystopian robot future, but in Julian Casablancas world they’ll probably be sex robots giving him blue balls. As drunk as Julian is or is pretending to be the band just turns in a professional androidesque tight karaoke swing around the park. But the measured tempo and the angular crunch are the strengths of the tune, so in this case I think it works. Please feel free to get on the high horse and claim blasphemy, that’s what comments are for.

Clampdown-The Strokes

It’s A Long Way to the Top (If You Want To Rock and Roll)

Obviously AC-DC revel in a cess pool or “retarded teenage sexuality” but get this clip, the boys do the whole U2 “we’re on a flatbed doing a video” like 500 years prior and they don’t even give a sh*t about getting people out for the shoot. They make sure they get some bagpipers, natch, but adoring public? Nah, they’ll just meet ’em at the party later. RAWK and you love it as Angus sledgehammers your brain out with what should be third grade crunch, except why didn’t you think of them first? Oh yeah, he craps out chunkier simple-minded riffs that you ever could, you’d need a lobotomy to reach his level of primal riffage. And he does it in his sleep. Yes, the band has two songs, four hundred versions of essentially “Highway to Hell” and two versions of “Who Made Who”, the second one being “Thunderstruck.” It matters not one bit.

Head Over Heals-Tears for Fears

We quote ourselves from another time, over at Three Bulls!:

We detailed a party gone horribly awry, but we now can give visual evidence.

fulsome, locked in the guest bedroom, bemoans his fate. Unable to slip out, his attempts at killing the party with Death Cab for Cutie and Pictionary are to no avail. The rabble will not be soothed, nay, they clamor for blood. Saddened by his plight, he breaks out his treasure. A duct-taped Sony Sports Walkman with Auto-reverse (natch) and a mix tape from her- you know, the one with slightly mainstream but great taste, she who knew what a B-side was- she knew that fulsome would appreciate this, the third single from Songs from The Big Chair, and appreciate it unironically. See, she knew he thought of the video, placing himself in the role of the shy library patron unable to get up his courage. Little did Fulsome know the librarian was really teh l4m3, but little did fulsome’s crush know he secretly thought of the monkey.

Everything above is true. I will add that even though the band hired some stiff on keyboards to make them seem more rugged, does he even seem like he is in the same band? The other guy, not the lead singer, is there some reason he’s done up like the woman from Adam Ant’s “Goody Two Shoes” video? Oh yeah, it’s the awesome 80s. Sigh. I don’t want to go too overboard, but this song was Top 10 on the charts. Comparing it to the fractured and market researched, plastic pitch-shifted chunky farts that ooze over the airwaves today makes you think twice about a decently crafted toss-off third single from an arty pop English band.

Mr. Soul-Buffalo Springfield

The power of “rock” music can be seen in this video. Let me say for one moment that any sentence that talks about the power of “rock” renders the purveyor a cobag. Usually. But because of this video there is amnesty. The song is g** d***** teh sh*t. The total nonsensical nature of the lyrics paired with the insistence of the concrete and menacing rythym, with Neil Young in scary hitchhiker mode versus plaintive strumming mode on vocals, this song is an all time classic.

Case in point: in this performance, note the incredible cheesewad-ness of the host, Capt. Squaresville. Then the band starts in with their mild-mannered protest song “For What It’s Worth”, Stephen Stills nattily attired, seems almost quaint, almost too squeaky clean, another somnolent evenng on a show where Pat Boone probably performed the night before while Jim Morrison peed on some groupies at the Whiskey across town. A little while in, Neil comes to the front as if they unlocked the monster from the crypt, in full Pocahantas garb, looking like the lost Mountain Man just out of the psych-ward Summer theatre production of Jeremiah Johnson.

Then as if the flick of a switch, everything is different. The band starts into Mr. Soul. Stills becomes the prom king/hatted hustler who women would clamor over being scammed by- and he’s the sideman now. Neil Young man-child mountain guy, no possibility of being dorkier, just unloads. For goodness sake, all the parts here are complete munchwagon- I mean the drummer is one of those Keno boys from Antiques Roadshow, probably was still living with his moms back then, and now still. The sum of the parts is an undeniable classic. With no irony whatsoever, these boys are heroes if only for two or so minutes. And that doesn’t happen with just any bullsh*t. Perhaps this song was absolutely massacred/played to death back in the day, but I’d take this one over a lot of other tired classics, which of course the kids don’t know or care about anyway. I give you the nice little rock fossil Mr. Soul.

Counting the Beat-The Swingers

Oh Jesus. The babba-dabba-dum dum dum dum dum. The staccato “do do do doot doot doot” swinging into the “woo woo woo woot woot”, there is no way this song is not about masturbation, but it is so good. Gavin M. passed this song on to me, and it is a masterpiece of plain old run of the mill sexual tension, and it is so good. These guys were from New Zealand, and they supposedly had one other song of note. I wish there were a video of this so we could share it with you. I kind of want to just have some nothing for 3:01 so we can share the file that way.

The Funeral-Band of Horses

Sort of a more direct My Morning Jacket. Smooth and a little bit rolling, slight metallic edge to his voice a la Modest Mouse. This may mean nothing to some of our readers, to them I will describe this addictive, hypnotic track as a basically elegiac f***-off song that is so comfortable in its defiance that you need to listen to it about 20 times in one day to come to the conclusion that that is indeed the case. See, the repeated chorus just tells you from the good side of the line dividing bombast and emotion “At every occasion I’ll be ready for the funeral” and it just hits, total resignation that bleeds into defiance. The stripped-down demo can be heard here. While still great, this is a more subtle version and seems more fragile as if the resignation has gotten the upper hand. I can’t stop listening to this tune. The rest of the album is like Shins on downers roadying for My Morning Jacket.

We have a video edit of the song below. This basically gives you 1/2 the goodness, because the repeat of the chorus allows a quite nice build that is lacking in the edit.

You’re Gonna Miss Me-13th Floor Elevators/A Cold Night For Alligators-Roky Erickson

We have first some high quality Nuggets-era garage awesomeness, extra special for Gregor Samsa. We’ll follow it up tomorrow with some more from this seminal era. You know, scratchy voiced, maybe some organ, guitar, bass, some dudes playing in their garage and singing about getting laid or getting dumped. Without that “Canadian” proggo crap. These bands had five albums out in the time it took John Bonham to really get going on longer versions of “Moby Dick”. Obviously, the coolest part of the song is the electric jug thingy.

13th Floor Elevators-You’re Gonna Miss Me

Here’s the lead singer of the above band, noted Austinite Roky Erickson. He’s a little bit infamous, he’s added a decidedly horror movie feel to the garage stylings of his tunes, plus he was pretty screwed up by a stay in a mental hospital after a Marijuana bust at the end of the 60s. It is pretty shocking what they would do to people back then. The guy is great. Thanks to Gregor for the suggestion. Hope you enjoy it. I’m sure Norbiz has lots of stories of hanging out with the Rokester in the desert waiting for the alien probing.

Roky Erickson-A Cold Night For Alligators

Come On (N Ride It) (The Train Song)-Quad City DJs

I don’t think I can possibly comment on how awesome this clip is. I double dog dare Gavin M. to top this total excellence.

Besides already being the most awesome song in the history of produced sound waves, in a Three Bulls! exclusive, we offer to you the very first but banned-edit of the Quad City DJs Train Song.

Graduated from Boone’s, up the Hennessey, indeed.

This one goes out to Snag, wherever he may be on these internets. Song of the Day’s mission will be to degrade him, somewhat constantly.

Alone Again, Naturally-Gilbert O’Sullivan

To continue our very flexible Classic “Week”, we bring you a song mentioned by tg in the comments for the Zager and Evans extravaganza. See the theme this week is happyish sounding songs that make you wanna open a vein. I think I remember this one, but as my folks were hippies, we didn’t really have AM Gold piped into our brains. It was side 2 of Abbey Road, basically, and Nilsson’s The Point for us unwashed Punkos. I know. At this point you think I grew up in a commune suckled at some goat’s teat. Eat it, cobags.

Anyhow, we give this as a shout out to Chuckles, asking him not to be this guy, this guy in the song. Choose Life, Chuck!

Alone Again, Naturally-Gilbert O’Sullivan